13 American Filters and too much Spanish

Looking back on this entry.  This is how I walk around thinking (if only my speaking was so lucky beause I ONLY speak Spanish).  Spanglish, heavy on the English.  

American filter 1:  

I want to sit down with my artisans and be like, look here's what's going to happen if you let it, "I'm going to assess every problem you have that I see or you bring me.  I willl be getting here at 9:00am - but sometimes 918. .  A group will present me with problems and then we'll think about them until we can solve them; this will only happen If yous guys assign me someone who can and will actually listen to the groups consensus of opinion.   The person listening to the groups suggestions has to have enough clout to actually implement change.   Included in this verbal contract , for free labor but not capital, said groups volunteers and our political ally can not move away to the coast or anywhere else within the next 5 years, by contract law, without express written consent by me.  Even after 5 years on good faith, a new group must be trained.  This is for the following reason:  Public service is a privilege and this little high up town needs you (thats right, my president... yes O-Ba-Ma, made public service cool again).  Seriously, 9- 6pm Monday through Friday.  Offer you  you can't refuse" 

blank look

... "no sabes lo que dice el Padrino? GUH claro que si es una referencia del mejor peliquela en toda la historia del cine.  puta madre, una vez tengamos que verlo.  No yo no conozco la mejor cancion de corazon serrano, todavia... no me jodas, sobre lo habia hablado.  en serio. mañaña. empezaramos.   

American filter 2:  

I want to be able to buy plane tickets online for within Peru. (any peru PCV that stumbles on this and knows how, please tell me)

American filter 3:  

I still can't really find a theory acceptable in Spanish concerning Iraq with anyone (I get them on Vietnam though because they don't like being called Communists), and It's sad that I get baited into talking about it, crafty host nationals.  

American filter 4:  

 "I want coffee, yes... not this, Señor, listen, pues, I'll tell you how to make it."  Spilt milk.   

American filter 5: 

you try it. 

 *thinking  "don't to be rude, I wish i remembered how to say this in the non-rude way... damn Jersey accent and I know I'm going to misconjugating the verb by some inexplicably never learnable amount" ....

 "disculpe señor solo pues lo que pasa es que necesito ir al plaza.  podria decirme.  ojala que usted pueda decirme donde esta la ganda (pausa)... la iglesia?"

(hand gestures and nods and mumbles) "ya pues. gracias." (excuse me sir it's just that i need to go to the plaza.  can you tell me, geez, hope to god you know where's the big... church?)  

*thinking "he had no idea what I was talking about. Spanish books.  Notes in Spanish Podcast.  Nonnsense, damn my formal mispronounced Spanish that doesn't work here"

Calling on Micah to make a Cajamarca jerga (slang) guidebook of useful intermediate shit...that work here.  "no me jodas", was gold for me this week, although not always applicable...

American filter 6.

I didn't see one Superbowl commercial, but I did see the Superbowl in Cajamarca with Spanish commentary.  Something about the feed being from Peru and not from Puerto Rico.  Worth it?  The group of volunteers they sent me with here in Cajamarca is gold, so factor that in.  . 

American filter 7:

Yo, Robot.  yoPod, Hilarious but actual products? You decide!  yoPhono definitely has a future.  I saw a Toyota Cavalier in Lima.  

American filter 8

Look at the verb "casar (to marry)".  What do you see?  Personally I see casa (house).  In a linguistic sense this society has long since banned homosexual people from having a home since the Catholic church does the marrying in an everyone sense.  I'm not thinking they're paying attention to adoption rights or the difference between the words "civil unions" and "marriage".

American filter 9

There are no laws, but there are bribes.  The cheaper buses and collectives do get stopped. 

American filter 10

Due to Carnival, later in the month, Cajamarca is a water-balloon warzone.  Its already begun.  Just being in Cajamarca the city or the region, you're already wet enough, you know?  I have a broken nose; I don't need a shot to the face, kid.  Dear Mom and Dad, please send a paintball gun.  

American filter 11

There's so ... much... mud... and more rain.  None in Lima, though.  I can't imagine a taxpayers in a town in America that would put up with being cut off from the real world for months at a time other than by shady cell phone service.    

American filter 12

Nate's 3 goal guide to the dream Peruvian toilet.  a seat. toilet paper. and soap. golden. (toilet itself he claims is given)

American filter 13

11 people in a 5 person station wagon, is 6 people too many, and Toyota should be ashamed to sell cars without seat-belts to anybody.  They are the major offender, probably why GM is going out of business.   I am also tired of having 10 people in the car and the driver waiting for that extra one person for half an hour, for an extra 80 cents profit.  That dude's weight will steal that in gas, seriously lets be logical.  Your time has no value?

I wish I was a youth volunteer.  Health too, but I don't think I took enough science classes and those volunteers didn't start at the right time for me. 

I think the new electronic reporting tool for Peace Corps, the one that I just had a meeting on Saturday, is a big improvement over Excel and don't care that it's still vaporware and won't work on mac os X (knowing the government they probably bought the service contract in 1999 and mac compatibility wasn't a concern, but just like Brandeis students, Peace Corps volunteers seem to be evenly split with Hello, I'm a Mac Users and I'm a PC Users).

I opened an awesome care package today, because we didn't have electricity for some reason until 7 o clock, and found my old plastic clarinet waiting for me.  No electricity needed, endless entertainment by the gringo.  

Congratulations to Grace Kim for choosing Columbia grad school.

Stationed @ Site

Mateo